"Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today"
-James Dean

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

What is my Purpose?

       Not gonna lie, when asked what my purpose is mostly blankness comes to mind.  It's a pretty loaded question for me.  My purpose could be what I want to do as a career, what I want to get out of life, what I want life to get out of me, or maybe how I want to be remembered.  First I suppose is my career.  I've know my general area of work I want to enter since about fifth grade.  In about seventh grade I can up with what I know I want to do specifically, and it hasn't changed since. 
       When playing cops and robbers as a child I've always wanted to "catch the bad guy".  At my youngest I thought the only oppurtunity to do that was to be a cop, so that's what I was determinded to do.  A few years later I started to realize that there are many ways to "catch the bad guy".  After my interest for the human mind had bloomed I knew exactly how I could do this.  I would go into forensic psychology.  Now in high school I get a lot of crap for carrying around serial killer books all the time.  My little sister espically think I'm going to grow up to take lives myself, when all I really wanna do is put those who do behind bars.  I could never hurt a fly, I even feel bad when I say something mean to an animal(though I know they can't understand me).
       Another goal in life for me is to help people.  The more people you help the better. In highschool I can do very little so as of right now I'm stuck giving blood and being nice to underclassman(not that that isn't important but not the life changing help I'm talking about).  Being very protective by nature I hear a lot from close friends and family that they think I would be a good mother.  I, however, do not want to have my own biological children.  To me helping already born children that don't have a good home seems more important.  Being a foster parent has been a want of mine for a long time, in the end I may adopt a few but I just want to give them all a good, stable home. I belive that almost all problem children can be fixed by simply adjusting their home life and making it more stable and consistant.  This may also be a way to provent future crimes. 
       Life should be generally joyful.  You should enjoy your career so that you go into everyday looking forward to work.  Making work a little less work.  You should enjoy almost everything about what you do.  Why do something if you don't like doing it?  I realize this doesn't work with everything like taxes and inlaws but if there weren't a few bad times, the good times wouldn't seem quite as good.  The most generalize goal I have is to live a happy and fulfilling life.  Ending each day feeling like I accomplished something and I enjoyed doing it.  Like when you get done cleaning your room or painting a fence, not really enjoyed doing it but there is a sense of accomplishment. 
       What do I want to be remembered for after I die?  To most this may seem like an odd and slightly depressing question to ask yourself, espically in high school.  Despite the fact that many people avoid thinking or talking about death I think that may be some people's downfall.  Thinking about death could be a good way to keeping you on the right track to being a generally good person.  If you never think that death is a possibilty for you and that it could never happen tomorrow, guess what?  You're wrong.  The day before accidental deaths, people don't think, "Hey I'm probably going to die tomorrow, I should probably start being a good person now."  They are either remembered for being a good person or a bad person based on how they acted daily.  If you live each day like it's your last it might not just help you live more joyfully and carefree but maybe the people around you also.  I know if it were my last day I wouldn't wanna spend time gossiping about other people or being rude.  I'd think more along the lines of let's just end this on a good note.  Thinking back on the lives of family members who have died I think of how they wanna be remembered.  Would they wanna be remembered how I remember them?  For example my lovely granmother, Donna, who I remember as being caring, sweet, hard working yet couldn't control her addiction to pills which ultimately lead to her death.  Or my other grandmother, Beverly, who though she was an amazing cook and cared for her family more than anything always seemed a little strange.  I've decided how I want to be remembered.  When people think back on the life of me I want them to think I always tried to be a good person.  I want people to think that I always tried to add joy and happiness to other peoples lives.  I want to be missed.  How do you want to be remembered?
 The college I plan to attend
 My career choice
My purpose

1 comment:

  1. Sarah,

    I just always smile the biggest smile whenever I read your writing. There is just something so special about it. Trust me, after teaching for twenty years and reading a lot of material this is the greatest compliment I can give. I could spend hours reading what you have to say because I think your perspective is so very unique. I hope you keep writing. Your writing brings joy to me.

    ReplyDelete